The goal of parenting is to raise a functional adult. The lure of parenting is to just get a little quiet time, but that’s a slippery slope.
Just remember, you come from a long lineage of people who didn’t know what the were doing, and their kids ended up just fine.
The best thing I ever did for my parenting philosophy is to teach high school just out of college. At the time, I didn’t know how to influential it would be — I just took the job because it offered me money.
The core philosophies are:
kids run on attention — they will do what they need to do to get attention, which may lead them in a bad direction unless you give it to them — so give them good attention
the best way to transfer values and good decisions to your kids is to spend quality time with them: go on a walk, hike, take a road trip, or exploration vacation.
kids are their own people — the will do stupid things. You did stupid things too. Have a conversation with them about the risks, don’t act like you never did stupid things. Life is in the risk, and they have to know how to handle it.
discipline is love. Discipline is the ability to do what needs to be done to make a better future. Discipline is forcing a path with the end in mind.
kids will rise to the challenge. Give them opportunities to get these accomplishments.
when you screw up, apologize. You’ll get frustrated with outbursts. When you apologize (authentically) to your child, you teach them self correction — which is the ultimate goal.
kids carry ideas and concerns they can’t talk to people about. Their body is changing and they have desires and they have concerns. Some things don’t need to be answered, they just need time with you. You had these questions when you were younger too.